you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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