I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize