Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
