? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
