The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
