bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
