They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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