Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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