All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize