How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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