I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
