THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
