Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
