I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
