So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
