dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
