I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
