What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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