im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
