ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
