Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
