we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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