Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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