Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
