Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
