Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
