Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize