BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
