yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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