My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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