and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
