Are we in a gay sports bar?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
