I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
