he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
