Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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