So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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