you guys were way drunker than both of me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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