Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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