Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
