I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
