He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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