i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
