Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
