I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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