Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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