whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I have vodka in my lungs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
