Having a random hookup so left but love u
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
