The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
