You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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