he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am mentally ready for anal.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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