Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
