We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
