ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Your cock deserves a montage
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
