And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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