it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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