I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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