Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize