these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
