If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
