We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize