the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
