good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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