I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
