can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
