It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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