i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
