Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
