I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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