He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
